Not-So-Calm November Eve: Assassin Photoshoot and an Explanation

At 4:13 PM on the sixth of November, a teenage maniac dressed in a black turtleneck, black breeches, high black boots, black gloves, and a black beret, was seen in the back garden of the Lewis home. It alternately tramped through the weeds, carried around handfuls of broken glass and asparagus berries, and ripped morning glory tendrils off the barn walls. The siblings who sighted it did not seem concerned. Regardless, we will keep you updated on the doings of this strange creature. A lookalike was spotted wearing a white hoodie and striped sweatpants, but upon investigation it claimed to be a writer, and anyway it was eating chocolate and could not be bothered.

This stemmed from my absolute and total frustration with my writing, my graphic art, and my laundry. In a fury of jilted creativity, I yanked my pirate boots and leather gloves out of my closet, pulled a black turtleneck and breeches out of my dresser drawers, and donned a black beret from my mom's closet.

I had noticed several days ago that the back garden would make an absolutely idyllic photoshoot location, either for something wistful and nostalgic or for a desolate, dystopian-style set. Given my mood, dystopian it was.

And slightly evil. Yes, those are asparagus berries, and they are not as poisonous as they look, though "mild gastrointestinal distress" is a threatening sort of phrase.

This is the smile you hope to never see me use.

And the Head Tilt of Impending Doom. Similar to but not to be confused with the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection (kudos to anyone who gets that reference.)

Several of these shots couldn't decide whether they were artsy or just badly aimed, as I had no one behind the camera and a grocery bag encasing it to protect it from the rain that stopped three minutes after I got outside.

Suggested music for this image: 528491 from the Inception score.

 I like the hyper-focus on this one, almost like that moment of adrenaline-induced alertness just before someone jumps out at you. Namely me.

Obligatory shots of the props, just because they were turning out so nicely and because I was tired of seeing my over-dramatic face.

Ahh, you were expecting an explanation of some sort? Why, may I ask? Oh, right, the title. Well, anyway. This is my excuse for not posting for several weeks and not having the rest of the contest winners up by now.

This, my friends, is the entire second draft of Wings of Hope, the first book in the Wings Trilogy. This being the first time it has existed in its entirety in hard copy. I was giddy the entire day. I had rushed to finish it the night before, on the prompting of my mother who offered me a trip to St. Louis as incentive for finishing it on time. The very next day, we arrived at the print shop. And THIS came out of that printer.

272 pages. 142,000 words. My first novel. Ever.

Yes. I am far too excited and took far too many pictures. Sue me.

 Those of you on Facebook have likely already heard about this, but not in connection with my inactivity or my negligence in the short story postings. This is my reason. Well, that, and this little gem of annoyingness right here:

That's right - my first ever attempt at NaNoWriMo. But I couldn't just do NaNoWriMo, oh no. I had to bend the system. So that's me attempting to write 15,000 words instead of 50,000 words in a month. I only need 500 words a day. Ha ha, law-abiding NaNoers. (Never mind that I'm behind anyway. My plot was eating itself like a literary version of Ouroboros.) This is my attempt at a Five Glass Slippers story, a contest for retellings of the fairy tale Cinderella, which closes on December 31st. Yes, I know I'm insane. I had a dream with a concept I couldn't resist.

So. This is how this is going to work:

1. I scream and everyone else fangirls and nothing gets done.
2. I realize that nothing is getting done.
3. I buckle down on NaNo, taking a break from the novel while my mom marks it up.
4. During December, I edit both the novel and the short story, fixing any glaring errors and shining it up a little.
5. I print out additional copies of Wings of Hope.
6. Wings of Hope goes to the draft readers probably near Christmas, and the short story goes to the judges.
7. I scream and everyone else fangirls and nothing gets done.

The posting on this blog will likely pick up again during or after December. Apologies to all those waiting for the additional results of the contest.

If you are one of my trusted draft readers, you probably know who you are and have poked me incessantly for months. If you don't know who you are, don't despair. You will find yourself shortly. (Actually, a few copies will also go to some die-hard fans and other friends who have been waiting, so until the list is finalized and all my emails sent, don't assume you're not getting one. Unless you don't know me. Then that would be creepy.)

(Like an assassin. Heh heh.)

(Oh yeah. All these images [except the ones of my story] are under Creative Commons. Which basically means you can use them for whatever you like without asking or crediting me, though I would love to see what you come up with. If you want unedited and/or larger versions of any of these [excluding, once again, the pictures of my story] comment and I'll see what I can do.)

E

Fantasy(ish) Photoshoot!

I present to you, the fantasy(ish) photoshoot to end all fantasy(ish) photoshoots!

Well, not really. Mostly it was 45 minutes of clambering around in a tree and trying not to whack the camera on branches and sweating and laughing and swatting mosquitoes. But my epic writer friend Grace and I came up with a few shots that may or may not be any use to anybody. ;) (Read that: 174 photos exactly that I had to pare down a lot to figure out which ones to post.)

I'm going to spam you with all of these, which I might mention are under Creative Commons so you may use them for stock if you like. If you want any of the full-size, unedited versions, comment asking for whichever ones you'd like. (To do that, click on the photo - it should give you a bigger version. Hit "view image" and it should give you the image all by itself in a tab with the file name at the top of the tab; mention the file name and I'll send you the picture. Or you could just describe the picture. Extensively.)

So first we posed in her really, really cool house. And huge. Did I mention huge? It has this amazing chain of staircases where you can stand at the top and watch whatever's going on at the front door, and it makes for some cool angles. I was a bit distracted when I took these or I would have experimented more. I'll have to do that next time.

Yes, that is Grace down there, not me, though our moms mistake us for each other. Same height, same hair, same dark author brains...

Oh, yeah, and Grace's cool sword! Which is actually a replica of Glamdring a.k.a. Foe-Hammer, only with the alphabet on it instead of runes. Which is kind of slightly strange, but ok since we didn't really have that many close-ups of it.

Then we went up to the top of the staircase and posed there. We were a little backlit by the window, and we had to keep telling each other "Tilt the sword this way. No, not that way. This way. No, no. Your other right. Your OTHER - I'm coming up there."

After that, it was outside. It was lovely breezy and humid with a goodly helping of bugs, but like the tough authors we are we trekked around in our leggings with our hair blowing all over our faces and posed.

 The grounds are almost as cool as the house. And three times as huge. She took me into this little pathway where I had to step carefully past dying poison ivy and duck under branches that wanted pieces of my hair.

Once past that, we came out into this little sanctuary under the trees. I couldn't resist.

Yes, that's me acting dramatic.

After that, we came out and found a more open path with a neat little spot where you could crouch down and see a miniature forest under the hedge. 

And some pictures on the path:

After that, the tree. They call it the Spider Tree or the Avatar Tree, and even though it doesn't glow like the Tree of Souls, it's just about as cool.

I wish I'd gotten a picture of it from farther away. It looks like a huge bush - the whole thing is just one big mass of leaves from the outside, and you can hardly see into it. You have to part the branches to get through. But once you're inside...

It's one huge mass of a tree in the middle, with other trees adding to it on the outside. Ivy carpets the ground under it and you can hardly glimpse the sky through the leaf roof.

Even better, the tree is wonderfully climbable. You can just walk along the branches near the ground and (even with a big heavy sword throwing you off balance) not be afraid to fall, they're so thick.

At this point, Grace had to run off and console the baby, who was crying for her. So I kept myself busy with the sword for company.

When Grace came back, we spent almost the rest of our visit clambering around the tree, playing Bored Elvish Rangers.

Staring out from the watch post...nothing new today...sigh.

 Smiling cockily down at an intruder.

Could it be - gasp! Something happening??

 They're HERE! They're here at last! (Not sure who it is, but she's excited. xD)

I have more pictures of me on the ground than in the tree, because once we got up there Grace  seemed perfectly at home. Way more like an elf than I felt. Maybe because it's her tree (not that I would mind having it at our place at all.)

 Me with a slightly weird look on my face.

 Me climbing. My brother said I looked like a frog.

On the watch...

Closeup time!

 Aaaand another! Frizzy hair for the win!

Bonus: Blooper shots...

 This is my "Grace, stop it!" face. Also the shot where I have a fantastic moose headdress.

 If you look really close, you can see a mosquito on my forehead. Great capture, Grace. ;)

 Best handlebar mustache. Ever.

"I'm gonna drop the swo-ord!"

So, sorry for spamming y'all, but I will probably do it again, next time, with different outfits. ;) If you end up using any of these, link me so I can see, please! :D

Graphing and professional stuff like that

As I sit here, crunching an onion ring and drinking fruit juice out of a small paper box, I think, "I feel like a professional."

Never mind that I've written a 200k word novel. Never mind that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Never mind that I just spilled my fruit juice on my pajamas. Never mind that I'm still in my pajamas at 1 PM.

I feel like a professional because I graph out my scenes in MS Paint.

Oh, yes. Isn't that what all the professionals do? Acting them out yourself is a thing of the past! Now, with the new and improved MS Paint that comes with Windows 7, you can do EVERYTHING!

I recently found this out when I was trying to figure out which arm my FMC (female main character) was going to drag my MMC2 (male main character 2) by. Exhibit A:

You can see here my three MCs and one RAC (reoccurring annoying character) and two dragons. One is dead and the other one is not entirely sure what's going on. I couldn't figure out the scene in my head, but I knew character C (Chayten) wanted character W (Wyn) to help him drag character I (Iri, who is not dead, but passed out) across the clearing, to where character A (Aaron) is very concerned about character B (Blaze). Character S has nothing to do with any of this because, as I mentioned, she is dead.

*slurps from juice box, then continues*

This helped me cement the scene in my mind, but it was really only the bare bones of what MS Paint was offering me. As you can see, I hadn't remembered how to draw shapes or add text yet, only how to wiggle around with the sorry excuse for a pencil. Half the characters' limbs aren't really connected, Iri has an extraordinarily long arm, and I'm not sure whether Aaron is running to Blaze or just getting ready to kick him. I'm not sure how I missed all the nice colors hanging around the top of the program, but I noticed them next time.

Exhibit B.

There was really much more going on in this scene, but I didn't want to add all the bodies. Iri is, once again, passed out (there seems to be a theme developing here, but, sadly, it died because in my third attempt Iri is very much awake) and Aaron is being out of character because he is gloating. Obviously he doesn't really say "LOL", but I still hadn't figured out how to make text so I wanted something short and sweet. You can see that I've discovered color (the squiggly things are trees) and the different brushes, but I'm really not sure what the fire is doing. Maybe trying to take over.

*licks onion ring grease off fingers*

This was also another try at cementing the scene in my mind. I wasn't sure exactly where Iri was passed out and Aaron was gloating over him, so I stuck a few placeholding trees in (trees are good at that) and then put them in the most logical area.

So today I realized that there's this magical little "A" icon at the top of the magical program which can magically add magical text to your picture, thus enabling me to label the characters. Like so:

Details have finally arrived. Notice the little sprigs of grass along the corners of the tents, the stalks of straw sticking out of the bale Iri is hiding behind, and the waaaaay too many stars in the sky because, once I discovered details, there was no going back. In case you were wondering, no, Syphir is not a girl. He just has long hair. He also needs a knee replacement. And Fairfax, Aaron, and Faulkner really are tied to those posts, but the posts are between us and them (and I drew the posts firsts) so, being lazy, I didn't draw them in. We'll just pretend they're there. The fire is much more under control now and all of the characters have hair the right color and length. Iri and Syphir are getting ready to ambush a clueless sentry (the sentry actually is whistling in the scene) and rescue Fairfax, Aaron, and Faulkner.

Poor sentry.

I even made the tents 3-D.

So there's your lesson for the day, folks. If you want to feel like a professional, use Paint. And don't squeeze your juiceboxes.